Going for the Frog Graham Women's Record
The night before the Frog Graham, preparation was off to a great start: my friend’s dog, Dan the collie (his beautiful, innocent face pictured here on the left) had just peed on my leg. A good luck charm maybe?! He christened my new fell shoes anyway!
Feeling the fear
On Sunday 18th May at 6am I set out for a Frog Graham attempt. For those that don’t know what that is, it’s a swim run version of the Bob Graham, with over 40 miles of running across the northern Lake District Fells, with 4,600m elevation and 4 swims across different lakes.
I had a big and scary goal in mind – seeing if I could break the Women’s Record set by Grace in a super speedy time of 12 hours 25mins. This was a tall order and I really wasn’t sure if it was possible. I felt like an imposter even considering the fact that I was going to give it a go. But a part of me also thought ‘what if I can do it? Why don’t I just give it a go?’ .
In the days (and in all honestly weeks) before, I had noticed my anxiety growing about taking on the challenge. I had set this big goal. But what for? Why did I set the bar so high for myself? Why did I have a time goal? I flipped between wanting to do this for the challenge, wanting to push myself as I enjoy pushing boundaries and seeing what my body can do. And yes, I’m competitive! I also knew something else was lingering beneath the surface. I peeled back the anxiety and found a deeper fear of not feeling good enough. Ah, there it is again! That need to feel like I must prove myself and achieve things in order to be worthy. To feel good enough. Fear that if I fail, or if I don’t get the record, people won’t like me. And fear that people will think I’m silly for even trying.
Even though I have developed my self awareness, I’m much more aware of my triggers and have been through years of counselling, those deep held beliefs can still rear their head. First step: I had noticed this feeling of fear, named it and recognised those deep held beliefs it was latching onto. It’s a familiar place but it’s not helpful for me to be here.
So what do I do with this fear? I allowed it in. I gave it space. Then, I had to genuinely believe regardless of what happened on the day, whether I reached my goal or not, it does not change or define me as a person. I’m not saying that fear miraculously went away, it didn’t! But every time I noticed it, I tried to allow the feeling and then remind myself in a compassionate way as to why that belief isn’t true. I guess this state reminds me of being vulnerable and courageous at the same time. Allowing space for not reaching a goal I had set. Allowing the possibility of failing and yet still giving it a go. Because that doesn’t mean I’m a failure – there’s a difference.
Run 1: Keswick to Bassenthwaite Church
It was just before 6am. I was standing on the steps of Moot Hall. I was full of trepidation, thinking “I have watched and supported numerous people doing their own challenge from this hall, and I’ve seen the pain on their faces in the hours that follow, am I really taking one of these challenges on?!”.
I reminded myself I was being vulnerable, courageous and willing to give it a go even though it felt very scary and hugely out of reach at this point.
Leg 1 was actually the section I was worried about the most! I knew I had to get up there in a fairly strong time in order to be in with a chance of the record, so there was no beating around the bush with it, I had to fully commit from the go! My coach and good friend Sarah had some pearls of wisdom (she has many) a few days before my attempt: “you have to go out at 12 hour pace and just see what happens”. It stuck with me and I was like right, I just need to do this and give it a go!
Ewen and I set off at a solid pace heading for Skiddaw, the first checkpoint. As we worked up the climb, the cloud sitting on top of the mountain enveloped us (I swear it lives on the top of Skiddaw!), the wind picked up and it was pretty chilly. I wasn’t complaining though as I knew we were in for a hot one later in the day. Although at this point I was very happy I had a T-shirt on (I had to borrow my friend Bill’s as I had forgotten to bring a T-shirt for the day!! Classic!). I felt like a sponsored inov8 athlete in my shirt and snazzy new (and christened) shoes!
We kept chugging up the hill, I started fuelling really early on, and kept a consistent pace up the drag of the climb! I don’t know how, but we made it to the top literally bang on the schedule in 1hour 4mins (huge thanks to Ewen who had been awesome at organising logistics and spreadsheets to work out a schedule for the day). First checkpoint done! The next task was to make it down the hill in one piece and get ready for the first swim across Bassenthwaite. The descent was steep and rocky which I normally love, but as it had been dry for so many weeks, the rocks weirdly felt quite slippy, almost like alpine conditions, which my northern roots are not used to! I decided to take it super easy and get down in one piece. There was still a long way to go…
We made it to the bottom of the hill. I had a quick toilet stop at Dodd wood car park loo’s, then we dashed across to the church, touched the church wall and legged it to the lake shore! Cue quick change into the wetsuit, Ruth was ready in her kayak and then Beau appeared on the lakeshore! He’d swam across to join me on the swim back over. I hobbled into the water and we were off!
Swim 1: Bassenthwaite
This might have been my favourite swim! It was lovely and calm, the water was still and silky, I got in the flow and pushed fairly hard! I hadn’t done much swim training before the Frog due to other life demands taking over, so I was worried I had been overly confident in my swimming from swimming/triathlon days when I was in the water a lot more, but luckily my body remembered what to do. I remained focused on sighting the luminous jackets on the other side of the lake. At this point I was blissfully unaware I would pay the price of lack of swim training later on in the day…
Run 2: Beck Wythop to Crummock Water
I met my support runners, Joseph and Sam, at the end of the Bassenthwaite swim, put my hat on, grabbed a sandwich and off we went! This was a tough leg! The longest, in distance, of the run sections. The first few km along the flat section of road was not so fun, and getting up Barf was a struggle, but my legs seemed to enjoy the other two little hills (Lords Seat and Ullister) before dropping down into Whinlatter. Joseph and Sam were amazing at keeping me in good spirits, distracting me and making sure I was eating and drinking. Once we dropped down into Whinlatter, I knew the pain of what was to come. The evil Grisedale Pike… it’s such a brutal climb! I tried to lock in and just march up but there were so many times I wanted to stop for a breather. After falling for a few false summits, I was relieved when we finally made it to the top!
What followed next was a little enjoyable section of flat and down, before more climbing: getting up Crag Hill / Eel crag! By this point I was struggling to eat solid food. I have a habit of squirreling small bits of food in my cheeks and then forgetting to actually eat the food. I could only seem to stomach Lucozade, Veloforte chews and Voom bars. I was very excited when we got to the final big climb on this leg, Whiteless Pike, and enjoyed the lovely descent down into the valley, before the sting in the tail at Rannerdale Knotts. I was also really hot by this point so I couldn’t wait to get into the water. I think I had requested water to be thrown on me a few times by this point and kept thinking (and probably shouting out loud) “get me in the water!”. Thank you Sam and Joseph for putting up with my prima dona alter ego race state!
We crossed paths with the ultra runners taking part in Keswick Mountain Festival and headed up Rannerdale, then bumbled our way down to the lake shore of Crummock where I could hear and see Jenny ready and waiting on her paddle board.
Swim 2: Crummock Water
I pulled on my hat and goggles, waded into Crummock Water and off we went, aiming for Low Ling Crag. This swim felt heavenly and cooled me off before the most brutal run leg that was waiting on the other side.
We made it across Crummock and I switched into a new tri suit ready for swim three at Buttermere for biosecurity measures. We made sure to minimise the risk of spread of non native invasive species across lakes. New Zealand pygmyweed is in Bassenthwaite and Derwentwater and has unfortunately been found in Crummock, so we want to keep Buttermere clean for as long as we possibly can! Jenny had a little changing tent for me so I didn’t have to flash any day-goers on a walk and out for a nice day.
At this point, Renee gave me a firm word that I needed to try and eat solid food and I couldn’t rely on lucozade throughout it all. I dutifully listened and knew I should take on board advice from the expert. Was I ready for this next run section? I’m not sure you can ever be ready for it!
Run 3: Low Ling Crag to Buttermere
Preparing for the Frog, there was so much talk about Leg 3. This was the crux of it. The climb up Melbreak would be make or break. It felt like a vertical wall and each recce we did it didn’t get any easier! There is no ‘nice’ way up it. It’s a hands on knees crawl to get to the summit.
After Renee’s words, I made sure I ate a sandwich going up Melbreak – the bits I didn’t accidentally drop on the floor and in sheep poo that is. I tried to make sure I was eating the food at this point and not just storing it in my cheeks like a squirrel. I was eating every 15-20mins.
Pete and Drew were my support for this leg and they were ace. Pete had some incredible mantras and a hilarious sense of humour that really helped me keep pushing. After lots of crawling, stomping and internal dialogue questioning why I do these things, we made it up Melbreak and I was actually quite happy with how I felt! The food must have helped as I felt much better than in leg 2. ‘Just’ Red Pike and High Stile to go…
After heather-bashing our way through and crossing over Scales beck (there’s literally no nice way to do this) and stomping up Red Pike, I saw a runner dancing down the fell that looked very much like Sarah! I wasn’t hallucinating, it was Sarah! I nearly cried with happiness that she came out to see me! Seeing Sarah gave me another boost and I felt strong going up Red Pike and was enjoying the hard work. We parted ways with Sarah as she made her own way down the fells. We continued our trek to High Stile where I bumped into my friend Jenny out on a walk! She was wondering what on earth I was doing running up there in a tri suit!
After summiting High Stile, we headed down the death descent to Buttermere. I love this descent on fresher legs, but on tired legs it’s a different story!! My sole focus again was to make it down without falling or hurting myself. After picking our way through the rocky descent, we made it back down to the valley where my next swim was waiting, getting across Buttermere.
Swim 3: Buttermere
This was the shortest of the swims but by this point the fatigue was setting in. Jenny and Dan were on the paddle board and Drew joined me in the water. In our usual form we started bickering, which is quite impressive really whilst swimming. Not much to report on that swim as it was so short! When we got to the other side and Rosie had got my shoes ready to whap on and go again for the last big run leg.
Run Leg 4: Robinson to Catbells
Renee and Drew joined me for this section. Renee was fully focused on getting me up Robinson, the last main brutal climb of the Frog. We stormed up the fell in good spirits and I naively thought the hardest bits were done! I then started to notice that Drew was running about 10-15metres ahead of me and had been doing this for most of the leg. I asked Renee why and she said “don’t worry it’s all good!”. I found out after it was so I couldn’t shout at him… I think he’s been scarred by my alter ego race state and a hangry, tired Lauren a few too many times. Drew said he kept looking back and seeing Renee and I chatting and smiling and thinking wow: Is this a new Lauren?! Little did he know we were planning some very cool work projects and ideas at this point. Who’d have thought work inspiration would happen mid-Frog Graham! It was a great distraction.
The next section though really started to drag and thoughts like “have I pushed too hard?” started cropping up which then meant I started asking multiple times “are we still on schedule?” or “how are we doing for time?”. The answer was usually yes, I just had to keep moving. But anxieties started to creep in if I could make it back in record time. That deeper fear of not being good enough popping up again! Plus it’s harder to rationalise when you’re tired.
We somehow made it to Dalehead and then the wheels really started to fall off. Apparently by this point I had perfected the “ultra shuffle” which made me chuckle. I just had to keep going forward. Dalehead all the way down to Catbells felt never ending. But Renee kept me going and Drew was ahead in the distance again. There were moments here I thought “Oh god can I make it? Have I gone too hard or is this what running nearly 40miles feels like?”. I was very ready for a lie down.
After many tears, laughter and claims from me saying I am retiring from running and these silly challenges, I hobbled down Catbells and somehow made it to the shores of Derwent water, where all these amazing people were there to support me! I barked more instructions (sorry), asked for more Lucozade, changed into my shortie wetsuit and then crawled into the water for the final swim.
Swim 4: Derwentwater
Oh my days, this was a tough swim and where my lack of swim training came to bite me in the bum! I felt the opposite of what I had done at Bassenthwaite in the morning. My legs refused to cooperate: I couldn’t kick my legs as my shins would cramp which was a whole new level of cramp! I felt like I was doing doggy paddle across the water. To make things worse, Derwentwater is the longest swim and I had to drag myself out of the water to get across 3 islands during the swim! Luckily Ruth and Jamie joined as kayak/paddle support and Drew in the water again.
I somehow made it to the first island, Otterbield Island. The seagulls weren’t thrilled by my presence (sorry I hope I didn’t disrupt your nests). I crawled out, gave a thumbs up for a picture as proof I was there, then dragged myself back in the water like a seal.
I swam (read: doggy paddled) to the next island, St Herberts. We got out and meandered across the woodland on the island. I stood on a holly leaf through my bootie shoes and nearly cried (I was fragile by this point). Apparently there were a group of lads camping there too who looked very confused why 2 people were running (hobbling) across in wetsuits. I was too tired to notice them though!
Just the final island to go. I was greeted by a smiley Nic Jackson in her swim stuff! That set me off crying happy tears again. She had squeezed in coming to support me before heading to work! My spirits lifted again and was powered by support from all my friends supporting me and rooting for me, because by this point my body was not cooperating. I made it to Calf Close Bay and had finished my last swim!
The finish
I had a 2.5 km run to go. Before the Frog, Drew had told me to take my wetsuit off to run for this bit, but I completely forgot, so off I went with my friends who all joined for the last bit, in my shorty wetsuit still zipped up. Anyone who has run in a wetsuit knows how horrible it is! After 5mins I asked someone to unzip it for me!
I was essentially crawling to the finish but everyone made me keep on running with their cheers and support, even up the teeny little inclines where I really wanted to walk. We were so close to the town and moot hall. We headed through the town and random people were cheering me on, so I tried to up the pace and I managed to for a few hundred metres and then paid the price for it – I nearly threw up in front of everyone at Moot hall (classic Lauren moment)!! I had made it. I crawled up the steps, collapsed onto the wall and sat down.
12:08:08. I had done it!!!
I started crying with happiness and elation and disbelief. I couldn’t believe that I had actually done this thing that felt so scary and out of my reach to begin with. So many runs, reccees and logistics went into this day, and somehow I managed to get round in a record time! This challenge has reminded me I can do hard things. I can try things even if it feels scary and I’m not sure what the outcome is. In the future, even if I have ‘failed’ at reaching a goal, that doesn’t mean I am a failure. Trying things that feel scary or unknown can be so rewarding and lead to expanding our comfort zones.
Plus, I enjoyed the moments so much more when I was in my flow, pushing my own limits, being present and running in the hills and swimming with my incredible friends, rather than the times when I was worrying about my pace or being ‘on schedule’. Good reminder for myself!
I genuinely felt so loved and supported by everyone who was rooting for me and wanted me to do well on the day. It was such a powerful feeling that got me to the end. Knowing that regardless of what happened, every person there was believing in me and willing me on. It’s a very overwhelming feeling in the best way!
I could not have done this without all my support crew, thank you to every single one of you!!! And thanks Grace for being so supportive and setting a ridiculously fast time for me to chase throughout.
Currently, as it stands, I’m now what a friend called the ‘double Frog Queen,’ holding the women’s record for the Frog Graham and Frog Whitton. I also did the Fred Whitton a few years back… Does that mean I have to do the Bob Graham at some point? Maybe, but I’m in no rush! I’ve been really enjoying the slower paced life the last few months – bird watching, lying on the sofa and letting my body and mind recover from the effort. I may enter a few fell races again soon, but nothing of this magnitude again for a while!!
LMB x